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Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Heaven & Hell

I reproduce below an excellent piece from one named Shanker that appeared in The Malaysian Insider that I found both amusing and thought provoking. Enjoy it.
Parable of the man who chose hell – by Shanker March 16, 2011
MARCH 16 – Once upon a time, a man died and was met at the Pearly Gates by an angel. The angel then explained that the man had arrived on a day of special offers: today, he gets to choose whether he wishes to spend eternity in heaven or hell.
“We’re going to let you have a day in hell and a day in heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend eternity in.” The man then replied, “Why not? Ok, I’ll take the offer.”
And with that the angel put the man in an elevator and it went down straight to hell. The doors opened and the man found himself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course.
In the distance was a country club and standing in front of him were all his friends – they were all dressed in splendid evening attire and cheering for him.
They ran up to him and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where they enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner.
He also met the devil who was, surprisingly, a really nice guy and he had a great time telling jokes and dancing.
The man was extremely excited! He was having such a good time that before he knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook his hand and waved goodbye as he got on the elevator. It went up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and he found the first angel waiting for him.
“Now it’s time to spend a day in heaven.” So the man spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. He had a great time and before he knew it, his 24 hours were up. The first angel came up to him.
“So, you’ve spent a day in hell and you’ve spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity.” The man paused for a second and then replied, “Well, I never thought I’d say this, I mean, heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in hell.”
So the angel escorted him to the elevator and the man went down back to hell. When the doors of the elevator opened, he found himself standing in a desolate and dark wasteland covered in garbage and filth. He saw his friends were dressed in rags and screaming in pain. There were hot flames all around and it felt slimy and the smell was awful.
The devil then came up to him and put his arm around him. “Wait a minute! I don’t understand,” stammered the man. “Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now what I see instead is a dark wasteland and all my friends are in misery.”
The Devil looked at him and smiled, and then he explained: “That’s because yesterday, you met our marketing team.”
Moral of the story?
Well, I heard that the detained Bibles have been ordered for release.
Hmmm. Makes you wanna go “whoopee” and kiss a 1Malaysia logo.
Or the hand of the DPM.
So, now you can’t wait to rush in and deliver your votes to BN, right? (I can almost hear the SUPP President go, “phew!”)
But then again, for the past 30 over years, we have been hearing the BN marketing team give their pitch to us… No …?
They promised us “Bersih, Cekap Dan Amanah”; but what we get instead is a languid civil service mired in corruption and wastage.
They promised us “Bangsa Malaysia”; but what we get instead is Perkasa.
They inspired us to “work with me”; but what we got instead was someone who slept on the job.
They promised us an efficient system from privatization endeavors; but what we get instead are traffic jams, and a mess of a public transport system. Not to mention that our utility and toll bills keep going up.
They promised us that the new MACC will be modeled after the reputable ICAC of Hong Kong; but what we get instead is a dead body, an unsolved “mystery” involving the death of a fine young man, and an agency that attracts more ridicule than its predecessor.
They promised us that they would get to the bottom of the VK Lingam “correct, correct, correct” saga and take action if there is sufficient evidence; but what we get instead is a file which is rubber stamped, “No Further Action”.
So my dear friends, you decide whether you still want to buy what Barisan sells.

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